The Meaning Behind the Ink: The Story

To explain the story fully, I couldn’t just submit one tattoo but two tattoos—and also the deeper meanings they share and how I’ve learned how to rise from the ashes and that there is always hope. I know many of you can relate to struggles, especially with mental health, and I have had my fair share.

I’ve been in therapy since I was 5 years old and have dealt with the challenges of ADHD, depression, anxiety, and bipolar 1. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder in the fall of 2019, and the battle to find treatments that worked was a nightmare at times. In January of 2020, I attempted to take my own life for the third time. Despite going into acute liver failure, I managed to heal and survive.

A month later, I finally decided to get my first tattoo, which is the one that Megan Kautz of The Silver Key did for me. I dedicated that tattoo to suicide awareness and as a reminder that my story is not over yet.

Love has been one of my hardest struggles to learn growing up: how to love and be loved. But what I’ve learned is that true love—when you truly love another person unconditionally, exactly as they are—never fails. Love is a choice that we continually have to choose to live out, and I am thankful for those in my life who have shown me what love is.

In the “love never fails” on my tattoo, the letter “i” in “fails” is a semicolon—a reminder that our story isn’t finished yet. The symbol below the phrase represents someone I knew who died by suicide and had that same symbol tattooed on them. I always replay in my head what I could have done differently to help them, but I have that symbol on me to remind myself that there are others I can still help and to not let that person’s memory die.

Along with that symbol, normally that up and downward open triangle would be more vertical, but mine is slightly slanted. The reason is that it replicates the logo of the talented EDM musician Avicii, one of my favorite musicians of all time. Sadly, he also died by suicide at the same age I am now—28. In my age group, the second leading cause of death is suicide. And yes, we’ve made strides to bring more awareness to mental health, but we still have a long way to go. That’s why love and compassion are more needed than ever.

This coincides with the next tattoo in the story, which happens to be my second tattoo. Later that same year, in 2020, Richard Young of The Silver Key helped give me a tattoo that reminds me every day to always have hope and how to H.old O.n, P.ain E.nds.

This tattoo also has a lot of meaning. First off, something I didn’t realize after Richard finished it is that the design is in my own handwriting—a unique touch that adds even more meaning.

The tattoo says “hope” with the body of a phoenix wrapping around it. A reminder that we can always rise from the ashes if we only have hope. If you look closely, you’ll see that “hope” is written in multiple different colors, each with a meaning:

• On one part of the letter H, there’s a smiley face with dots on both sides—this symbol often represents bipolar disorder.

• The green loop in the H represents the green ribbon for mental health awareness.

• In the O, the pink and red represent my personal battles with anxiety (pink) and self-harm (red).

• The P includes yellow and orange to represent my experiences with bipolar (yellow) and depression (orange).

• The E represents being a survivor of suicide (black) and my support for anyone struggling with mental health issues (blue).

The beautiful thing about this tattoo is that it has sparked so many conversations with others who ask about its meaning. By sharing it, I’ve helped others feel less alone—helped them realize that they, too, can rise from the ashes. That makes the meaning of these tattoos so much more than just personal inspiration—they now serve a greater purpose.

So I just want to say to everyone out there:

You are loved.

You are worth it.

You are not alone.

There is always hope—even in the darkest of times.

And we can all do our part by being the love we wish to see in the world.